The E.P.A.’s List

This one is awful. Please feel free to skip.


A List of the Most Wanted, by the E.P.A.
By CORNELIA DEAN
Published: April 6, 2009
Complete with mug shots, the Environmental Protection Agency’s list of fugitives was established to draw attention to serious environmental crimes.

“The E.P.A.’s List”

Omran Alghazouli,

You are wanted by the EPA
for fouling our environment!

How could you smuggle R-12
Freon in from Mexico? Think
of the ozone.

Mahmoud Almhchie,

You are wanted by the EPA
for fouling our environment!

What were you planning on doing
with 105 30lbs cylinders of death? Think
of the biomes.

Wendell Baptiste,

You are wanted by the EPA
for fouling our environment!

How long will it take the water that you polluted
to recover and again be drinkable? Think
of the thirsty.

Albania Deleon,

You are wanted by the EPA
for fouling our environment!

They’re not safe from asbestos, they’re not fully trained,
but thanks to you they’re certified. Think
of the children.

For more information, see: The E.P.A.’s List